


I've got you on my mind [not!fic]

by litra



Series: Notfic [8]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Comfort, Happy Ending, Lionel Luthor's A+ parenting, M/M, Mentions of drugs, Mentions of self-destructive behavior, Mind Link, Mind Meld, Not!Fic, Secrets, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:32:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra
Summary: Clark and Lex have been mind linked since the first meteor shower. Yet another thing that sets them both apart. It doesn't make getting together any easier.





	I've got you on my mind [not!fic]

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to some friends talk about a mind-link Yuri on ice fic and and how the mind link trope had fallen out of fashion, and then my brain did a thing.

So I was listening to some friends talk about a mind-link Yuri on ice fic and and how the mind link trope had fallen out of fashion, and then my brain did a thing.

Mind-links are a thing, but they aren't common. There are drugs that can make you more or less susceptible but they only work about a third of the time, which doesn't make them any less popular. It's a thing that's used in stories a lot. One touch and Romeo and Juliet knew they should be together forever. Fairy tale princes and princesses. 

In true it's not romantic all that often, or not always romantic, it can be, but it's more like being drift compatible, without plunging your brain into the machines. 

Except naturally because of the stories, and because Lionel is an ass, Lex was raised that he SHOULD NEVER LET ANYONE INTO HIS HEAD. Take every precaution. Don't sleep with anyone who you might actually have a real connection with. If someone gets into your head they will eventually turn on you. Luther's don't have friends, they have occasional allies, and on and on until Lex has had it beaten into his head.

Except he's had someone in his head the whole time. Him and Clark synced up during the first meteor shower. That little brush of fingers spelled out his doom.

So Lex, being the extremely odd child that he is, and with his strange upbringing, decides he can't possible have a mind-link (at least at first) The other voice is a baby for one. Denial denial denial, and Lionel is over there looking at his son with a mix of concern and suspicion. 

Then Baby brother comes along and hey maybe Lex accidentally bonded with him, that would be okay right? He's family, he's a Luther. Family means everything. And Lionel is still over there with that look. 

Lex is getting older now and learning to hide the symptoms better. It helps that the voice in his head is getting older too and using actual words and things. Not that they really talk, it's the bleed. Anything powerful, a song that gets stuck in your head, or wondering if you remembered to lock the door, when you definitely locked the door. He gets images sometimes of open fields and corn or cows. It's kid of soothing in a way. But then he remembers Mind-links are a bad thing, and pushes it all away.

When both his mom and Julian die in a short span of time, he goes into a downward spiral. He's depressed and trying to hide it. He has to go see shrinks except he's scared that they'll tell his dad things so he lies to them, which only makes things worse. He gets more and more upset and lonely and self-destructive. ( and this is before he ever turned to drugs and sex )

Then Clark reaches out to him.

Clark has loved having a voice in his head this whole time. Not that Lex reaches out all that often, but he'll get flashes of bright cities and fancy parties. Clack hasn't had the mind-link talk with his parents yet, because so few people get mind-links at all and mostly that's in their early twenties. this means that all he knows is what he's seen on TV, and very kid-friendly TV at that. The person he's mind-linked to ( he doesn't not know Lex's name and Lex doesn't know his ) fits what he's seen though. He imagines Lex as a fairy tale princess who needs to be rescued. Clark will be her knight, her friend her confidant. He falls in love with the idea, that person who he can stand beside and support and protect and give everything to. He'll steel her away if that's what she wants, bring her back home and live together happily ever after. 

So when he feels Lex getting more depressed and stressed out day by day he wants to help. He tries to reach out.

Now Lex and Clark haven't seen each other in years by this point, and while the bond is strong, and possibly stronger then it should be given the distance, but it also means it's more wild. On top of that these boys have never actively tried to communicate through the bond before. Clark's concern doesn't come through in words. It bleeds into Lex's dreams, and for several weeks Lex feels like he's constantly got someone hugging him or holding his hand or leaning against his side. 

Slowly Lex lets himself feel a little bit better.

Lex is mostly at boarding schools at this point so hiding the little things from his father becomes a matter of just being the odd one (which he is) and one more little odd thing isn't noteworthy. Plus he has a lot of trouble hiding it by now. He never really tries to reach out, because he still has that MIND-LINK = BAD conditioning from his dad, but he doesn't really push Clark away either.

Then as Lex gets older he starts to have feelings for Clark which should be ridiculous. First of all he's never met (apart from presumably when they linked) this person. He doesn't know what they look like or what their name is. He knows they're probably in the USA, but that doesn't narrow it down, and even that it's 100% since Lionel brought him along to a lot of places when he was a kid. It's not like he can ask him.

But what he can do is research, and Lex is good at research.

Lex starts keeping note of all the things he sees from Clark. Corn, of course, but roads too and a small town. a farmers market of some kind. A kitchen. A barn. somewhere among these images he has to find something to narrow down his search. 

He justifies it to himself that if he knows who the other person in his head is, he can get a better handle on them. Make sure they can't attack him or use anything against him. He can out maneuver them, before they get a chance to turn on him.

It takes a while. Clark doesn't have any strong feelings about road signs or whatever. Then Clark goes to the Circus. Lex gets a whole evening's worth of images about carnival rides and acrobatic shows and animals. and there in the middle of it is a banner proudly proclaiming "Halley's Circus" 

Lex googles it as soon as he can get to a computer. The Circus is in Kansas. He gets a county, a city. It's the closest he's ever felt to Clark before. It's not Smallville, one of the larger towns nearby, but Lex now has somewhere to start. It doesn't take long to turn up the factory and work out that yes Lex had been there at about the right age. 

Then it clicks into place. The meteor shower. He bonded with someone during the meteor shower. The voice witch already has the BAD label on it, is part of what made him a freak.

That's when Lex starts drinking and partying and doing all the self-destructive things. Because if he's out of his mind it doesn't matter if he can hear voices.

Clark is dealing with middle school at this point and has realized that he's odd. not only does he have a mind-link but there's all the alien things. The Kents tell him to hide what he can do, and he just lumps Lex in with the rest. He doesn't realize that his parents don't know. He's still young enough he thinks they know everything or at least way more then him, they must know about it. it's not like he's hiding it. 

Also they have a mind-link so if they talk into space (to the other) and he picked up the habit of talking out loud to someone who isn't there, well no one thinks it's that weird as long as he knows no one is actually there. 

He's also become a lot more mentally disciplined then Lex is. His mom and dad have these exercises that allow them to strengthen and control the link. and Clark starts doing them as well. He wants to know as much as he can about Lex and this is the only way he knows how to get more information.

Lex knows about some of these exorcises and does them sometimes, but they are more designed to strengthen a bond then block it, and Lex is still off in denial land.

Then Lex gets sent into exile and moves into the castle and hits Clarck on the bridge.

Now you'd think they'd get a clue once they've kissed and all but nope!

Lex opens his eyes and he's thinking of flying, and he's thinking of angels and Clark is mostly trying not to freak out, but between his own thoughts the angel thing slips through. Except Clark brushes it off, Lex loved warrior angel for a long time, he's probably just thinking of that.

And they both go home and quietly freak out. Neither realizing that half the freak out belongs to someone else.

Now, Lex doesn't like smallville, but a part of him that has never stopped hoping for a fairy tail ending, knows that his mind-linked other is nearby. He knows Clark is younger then him and lives on a farm, which doesn't narrow it down a whole lot, but does knock a few people off the list.

He starts going to the talon, and the farmers market and he knows these places. He's seen them in his head since he was little. And he keeps meeting Clark there. Such a coincidence.

And they still don't get a clue.

Clark likes Lex, but he's so different from what Clark imagined, that he doesn't get it. He likes Lex, he really does, but he's not some princess in distress. And Lex, well he definitely likes Clark, but he too has the image of a girl in his head, because while he knows he's bisexual, The media is a strong influence. 

Que a comedy of errors. they go through at least the first half of season one like this. Both of them, just brushing it off when they happen to crave coffee at the same time. of when Lex feels uncomfortable whenever Clark is around Lana ( and her meteor necklace) That's just the pang of not having anyone, but jealousy. Clark brushes off knowing the layout of the castle before he ever sets foot there. Lex brushes off knowing people's names before he ever meets them. 

Besides they're both a bit busy what with the meteor mutants and Lionel and everything.

Now I could make them realize in the middle of a big moment. In those life threatening instances, when Clark saves the day they are in total sync. Lex knows where Clark will be even though he couldn't be there if he was only human. (this is another section of the secret room, and one more fiercely guarded then the rest) and while Lex is coming up with scenarios and playing through how people might react (chess pieces all of them) Clark is taking those plans and putting them into place.

And then the emergency is over and they both stop acting on instinct and remember that they're hiding things from the other, and yep, still idiots.

then there are the dreams. The very sexy dreams. Clark brushes them off as puberty. Lex brushes them off as remnants of his clubbing days and needing to get laid. Neither make the connection that it's not some random guy it's their best friend. Clark because when he realizes he's dreaming about a guy he has the typical freakout and questioning about his sexuality. LEx, because he's always had a type, and yes Clark does match that type, but he's bedded plenty of strong young men with dark hair....

so it's actually a quiet moment they finally get it through their heads. 

Lex is over at the Kent farm, trying yet again to get Johnathan to not hate him for his name. and Jonathan and Martha have a mind-link moment. It's normal, something they do often enough that Clark barely notices. Maybe one of them is out at the store, and the other makes a comment to the air "don't forget to pick up milk" or one of them starts making coffee and the other walks in the door just in time to be handed the cup. 

The thing is Lex has seen TV but he's never been around people who have the mental link in real life. and it's different. it's a subtle thing. and it shouts in the face of everything Lionel has told him. Clark notices, and coaxes him into talking about it. Lex is fine telling Clark about his father's teachings. And Clark is for once an expert on the subject. He tells Lex about watching his parents growing up. about how they'd still fight, but when things were bad, They always had each other. And he lets it slip. He doesn't mean to but his guard is always down around Lex, he can't help it. He doesn't say he has a mental link straight out, gust that he can't wait to meet his other half. Lex catches it though. Clark tries to play it off of corse, "yeah one day I'd like to meet someone who..." but Lex isn't buying it. So in a bout of defensiveness Clark turns it around.

"What about you? So your dad doesn't like the idea, but don't you want someone who can support you like that?" 

And Lex really really does in that moment. He's all set to lie though, because that's what he does. and it's nearly yet another of those wasted moments. but Clark feels it. He's tuned into it, since they're talking about it, and Clark's always been the one trying to strengthen the bond. And they're so close to each other now, no distance putting a strain on it. 

Their breathing sincs up and their heartbeats match. Lex is still feeling self-deprecating and defensive, and of corse Clark reaches out to comfort him, like he has since they were young. He ends up taking Lex's hand without realizing it. There's a spark of yes, good, mine, home. and both of them realize it almost at the same time. 

Lex is scared at first, that initial knee-jerk reaction. but Clark just pulls him into a hug, and laughs, because it fits. They fit. Clark doesn't need to think about it to know it's right. Lex is washed away in Clark's emotions, but under it, he's looking back at everything since he came to smallville and reevaluating every interaction they've ever had. So it's Lex who makes the dream connection first. 

Of course, as soon as LEx thinks about the dreams and being wrapped in Clarks arms as he is, well, things were bound to happen. Clark might have noticed even if Lex wasn't mind-linked to him. With the link, it's a giant neon sign.  Clark groans and things could get sexy right there, but no LEx has enough control to step back and (blushing furiously) remind them both that there are reasons that is a bad idea.

Clark is disappointed, but doesn't protest too much. He's still happy about finding out Lex is his mental partner. He's got all these ideas. He's been coming up with things he wanted to say to Lex since he realized he had a mental-link. 

Then Clark realizes that Lex still doesn't know he's an alien.

that kills the mood pretty fast.

Lex knows there's something, but he doesn't try to push mentally or otherwise. He says he should go home, and they can think about it, and Clark agrees to come over after school the next day.

Lex considers scrapping the room that night. He goes through everything and it's still a mystery how Clark survived the crash, but does that matter when he's in Lexs head? or does that make it even more important that Lex know? He can feel that Clark is thinking of him too.

They're both reserved the next day. Hesitant to touch, even something as casual as holding hands, even though they want to.

Clark brings up that he hasn't told his parents. Lex assures Clark that he's going to do his best to make sure Lionel never finds out. Lex says that there are some papers he should have Clark sign about company secrets and things, but Clark call him on his BS. eventually Clark asks what they're going to do now. Lex says he was going to shower his mental partner with gifts, when he met them, but since Clark already refused the truck... 

They end up curled together on the couch, talking through what they remember from the link. LEx explains about his mother's death. Clark explains about the first time he got sick from meteor rocks, and opps yeah, now Lex knows about the meteor rocks. Lex guesses he's a meteor mutant, and Clark doesn't deny it. it's enough for Lex to let go of most of his anxiety about it. 

The next Day Lex starts to take apart the room, except before he can set things in motion another meteor mutant attacks. 

Since Lex is aware now, he covers for Clark without thinking. The cops bush it off since Clark has an alibi, but Lex realizes how much Clark needs a secret identity.

He brings up Warrior Angel several times but Clark either doesn't want to talk about his heroic efforts or just doesn't get it.

After almost two weeks of this, Lex asks Clark to come over and shoves him into the room. Clark is hurt of course, but Lex forces him to stay and listen. He tells Clark about all the ways people could blackmail him, or twist his powers for their own use. HE tells him how people will be less careful if they think there's always the safety net of someone who is going to come save them. He pleads with Clark that if he can't stop, then he at least needs to protect himself as well as everyone else.

Clark is kind of shocked that Len is telling him to lie (yes even to Lex himself, plausible deniability is a good thing) Clark says he knows all that and that he can handle himself. He's survived so far. To which Lex points at the room again.

Lex is actually okay with the secret thing once it's his idea, it's about control, and now he's pretty sure he knows most of them anyway.

Lex's new project becomes making clark a costume that can withstand his powers.

Eventually Jor-El shows up and the stuff with the cave happens Clark manages to hide it for a while, but the dreams Lex is getting are really weird. Lex is content not to know, again with the plausible deniability (and his Luthor side uses this as a justification to hide some of the things he's doing from Clark. Nothing too bad, but the meteor rocks are just so interesting) But Jor-EL is convincel Lex will make Clark see things his way. Lex is both fascinated and appalled. He has to remind himself that Clark doesn't know anything about his alien physiology/culture. Luckily the computer does. 

They don't actually sleep together until Clarks in college. They wanted to wait until Clark was of age for obvious reasons and then things kind of just spiraled out of control. with Lionel and all the people/things attacking them. The Science, and business. Sex isn't something they think about outside of mentally linked jerk off sessions. 

Then Clark is in college (Met-U because Lex was not going to let Clark go to community college when he could fund a scholarship purely to hide the fact he's giving money to the kents) and for once there's no disaster going on. Lex and Clark are hanging out. Maybe they saw a game, or a concert, or maybe Clark just swung by to talk, and they end up on the couch together. Lex is slightly tipsy and Clark if full of good food and then they look at each other. They both still feel the attraction, that never stopped. But now there's nothing stopping them. It's fast and clumsy and so good. Clark doesn't go home that night. He convinces Lex to take the morning off the next day too.

They still argue, and they still keep secrets, but sometimes Clark will reach out with comfort if Lex is frustrated in a business meeting. Lex offers strategies when Clark is fighting and quietly patents reverse engineered krypotian tech for the betterment of mankind. 

and it's good.

 


End file.
